It has been a while since we updated you about our adventures here in Oxford, city of Dreaming Spires.
In short, we are completely and utterly happy here. We feel at home in this old city full of beauty and history. The longer I am here, the more I am convinced that you can make any place feel like home as long as you give it a chance.
Being here makes you want to speak like the locals…you want to be cool enough to use words like “rather”, “chuffed”, “quite”, “brilliant” and “nackered” (to name a few). Being here also makes you want to read a thousand books. There is learning everywhere. I seem to learn something new every day, or I hear about a new (to me) author that I simply must read. I want to spend my days reading, and I wouldn’t mind doing that whilst (see, I got British there) sitting at the old Duke Humfrey’s Library (so I can feel like Hermione, obviously).
I use the word “magical” to describe this city and my time here quite often. Perhaps I overuse it, but I can’t help myself. There are few better words to describe this place.
Speaking of magic, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but before the kids and I arrived into Oxford in December, Wes had his own magical experience. It was a complete and utter holy spirit experience. I won’t go into all the details at this moment, but I will say that Wes was stopped in his tracks while walking back to his flat one night. He felt the moment to be so holy that he said he nearly fell to his feet because he could feel the power of the moment that much. And he heard God speak to him like he’d never heard him speak before. Simply put, God spoke to Wes about being a C.S. Lewis scholar at Oxford (which, until that moment, he had no plans on doing)…that he would study further (beyond this school year) at Oxford. He called me minutes after this happened, while I was still in Kentucky, and both of us were in tears. We knew this moment was real. SO real.
So Wes applied for the masters program here at Oxford. He had an entire thesis put together (it’s a BRILLIANT thesis, but I won’t give that away right now) for his application. Everything was in line and we felt sure that everything was on track for 2-4 more years in Oxford. As a matter of fact, when we felt God giving us that nudge to move to Oxford, we felt it would be for longer than a year. We just didn’t know how that was going to happen…until the fateful night on a lamplit street in Oxford. That gave us some direction…some insight into how God might do this thing. We felt a surge of faith, and were excited about the future. Until about 3 weeks ago…
Three weeks ago Wes received a rejection letter from Oxford.
Yup. A rejection letter.
We were shocked. This did NOT line up with the plans we thought God had for us. And they gave him no explanation. Apparently Oxford is a highly sought after institution. Who knew?! (okay…we all know…It’s Oxford…the freaking king of universities!) And since it is highly sought-after, there are a great many applicants, so they told Wes they were unable to give him any feedback as to why his application was rejected. *sigh*
This has been a faith-filled season, folks. Aside from my minor setback in January, when I gave up faith on God’s provision after only 6 days (man I want to punch January Nina in the face and tell her to stop being a baby), I have been on an amazing faith train! Obviously I have days where I feel like a pile of poo, and all my faith crumbles, but I’m going to be bold and say that 95% of the time I feel full of faith and excited for the unexpected things God is going to do.
Part of this infilling of faith I believe has to do with the way I’ve changed the way I pray. For months I’ve been praying for God’s provision. I’ve been asking God to help with our finances (we have pretty much no income…about $175/month from some generous friends out there!). It was all about the money, money, money. I couldn’t forget the price tag…sorry…I couldn’t resist. So yeah…I was praying for dollar amounts, and financial provision. But at one point something shifted in my thinking. I started thinking, “What if I had the faith to truly believe that God was going to provide for our needs?” So about 2 months ago, I started asking God to increase my faith. I stopped asking for provision and just asked for that supernatural trust to believe that He would take care of us. Because with real faith, all the rest comes naturally doesn’t it? With real faith you begin to realize that it’s not all about the timing of things. Even if the money doesn’t come, you have faith that God still loves and provides and cares. He is not absent, but wholly present. That’s what I wanted to know and feel. And despite my semi crisis of faith (see last post), I felt an unworked-for faith filling me up. The doubts still lingered (and still do), but I also had this faith that made all of the doubts seem secondary and even dim.
I’m not gonna lie. When Wes got that rejection letter, I cried all day long the next day. My heart was broken. How could this be?! We were so sure!
But then God reminded me of the island. And then Wes brought up the island too. “What island?”, you may ask.
Well…there is this beautiful story that Corrie ten Boom tells. Yes, I know you’re surprised that I’m referencing ten Boom again (just kidding…nobody is surprised that I constantly quote my spiritual hero). It’s a story about an island that didn’t exist. I won’t bother trying to sum it up. Let me share directly from her book, Tramp for the Lord (if you know me well, you know I talk about this book ALL the time), when Corrie is sure that God has asked her to fly directly from Sydney, Australia to Cape Town, South Africa:
“Instead of sending me from Sydney to Cape Town to Tel Aviv, as I had requested, she [the travel agency] had routed me from Sydney to Tel Aviv and then to Cape Town. I went immediately to the phone and called her.
‘Why have you changed my schedule?’ I asked. ‘My Chief has told me I must go first to Cape Town and after to Tel Aviv. However, you have changed the sequence. God is my Master and I must obey Him.’
‘Then God has made a mistake,’ she said, half-seriously. ‘There is no direct flight from Australia to Africa since there is no island in the Indian Ocean for the plane to land and refuel. That is why you must first go overland tro Tel Aviv and then down to Cape Town.’
‘No,’ I argued. ‘I cannot follow that route. I must do what my Chief has told me. I’ll just have to pray for an island in the Indian Ocean.’
We both laughed and hung up. ‘Lord,’ I prayed, ‘if I have made a mistake in hearing Your direction, please show me. But if I heard correctly, then open the way.’
An hour later the girl called back. ‘Did you really pray for an Island in the Indian Ocean?’ she asked, incredulous. Before I could answer she continued, ‘I just received a telegram from Quantas, the Australian airline. They have just begun to use the Cocos Islands for a refuelling station and beginning tomorrow will have a direct flight from Sydney to Cape Town.’
I thanked her and hung up. It was good to know that God does not make a mistake in His plans.”
That’s right. God provided an island. An ISLAND! I think you’re getting where I’m going with this, right? Wes and I are praying for our island. We are believing for our island. We mention it nearly every day. If one of us starts to lose faith, the other says, “Wait on the island!” I don’t know how God is going to do this. I don’t know how he is going to make a way for Wes to continue his studies here at Oxford. But we know that He is very capable of making a way. Does it seem unlikely? Absolutely. Does it seem impossible? Yes. Is it impossible? Nope.
‘What if none of it works out?’, you may ask. Well, still we will trust Him. Still we will follow His lead. Because sometimes what we think makes sense, just isn’t what is actually the reality of God’s plan for us.
So for now, we pray for our island. We believe for our island. And when it comes, we hope you will rejoice with us. Even before it comes, we hope you will be inspired to pray for your own island. What if our faith became radical (to us)? What if we trusted our Father for things we never thought we could trust Him with before? What are we waiting for? Are we afraid of disappointment? But what if we actually find everything we’ve been dreaming of all our lives? What if new dreams are birthed out of our ability to trust Him more? Imagine the possibilities! Imagine what may come!
I hope you will go after those dreams that God has given you. They are there for a reason. Don’t let them go!
