Photo by: JW Mullins
Control.
Creating a curated and convenient environment breeds comfort and security…God only promised one of those things: security. His security only comes in one way though, love (trust.) He’s very much like Aslan, he’s not safe (comfortable) but he is good.
This is my current battle, letting go of control. It is as if I just gained control and he’s asking that I give up what little I have. He has promised the end result will be better than the sacrifice, but I have my doubts. Why? Because I am addicted to doubt and fear (Daring to Hope, Katie Davis), and because it is easier to doubt than to trust. Doubt takes no effort, no skin in the game, no pain. This is why skepticism is a horrible habit to get into. It is cowardly to dismiss everything, it takes real courage to believe in something. Skepticism falls apart really quickly when the skeptic finds they will have to become skeptical of their own skepticism: where does that leave one? I don’t advocate blind faith either, there is balance to be struck; we are all seeking to find it.
In an effort to give over this control I am trying to do what he asked me to do. He has asked me to do the impossible and yet the most simple and profound…and I still struggle do it. I feel like II Kings 5, when Namaan was being asked to dip in the Jordan river to heal his leprosy. He refused at first due to the dirty looking water, but was chided by his servant, “If the prophet had asked you to do something great you’d have done it, but he asked you something simple and you refuse.” I would have struggled either way. It is no easier to follow God’s plan even if he draws you a road map; because with the road map you see all the ways you can fail, you see clearly where you objections can be applied, and you see where you have to be spot on…it can be a lot of pressure, but it does to have to be.
I feel that God has asked me to lay down everything in my life but three things: 1. Building Our Young Living Business 2. Researching and Writing on my Thesis Idea 3. Loving those around me. He said he’d take care of the rest. I know there are objections and reasonable reservations some may have to this way of life but I am reminded of what CS Lewis said in “Learning During War Time”, (paraphrase) “There will always be distractions and conflicts, if you wait to get educated until we have peace you many never pursue education.” Then he remarks that it necessary for the coming generations to continue Western education because many of its leaders may be killed in these conflicts. In short, there is no guarantee for the future regardless of how safe or have risky one’s life is. The safest place is not in comfort or control, it is in love. God is love, he is the safest place to be: whether in a prison camp or a penthouse.
So why am I declaring all this now? There are many distractions all around me that are pulling my attention away from the 3 simple tastes. I have found myself, since being back from Oxford, listening to more political podcasts and news outlets. Government and Politics are important to me. A few years ago I was writing a lot of political pieces. I am proud American no doubt, but my anger, angst, and anxiety are on the rise. There are so many stories and events to try and formulate opinions on, and the weight of those opinions is too much. My shoulders and mind aren’t meant to bear 20 domestic and international crisis a week. The 24/7 news cycle is over-saturation, no one can keep up and digest everything correctly. My apologetic mind and my passion for justice have me trying to educate and reach every one with the proper thoughts about God and Politics. God gently reminded me the other day that it wasn’t my duty to engage in shaping and broadcasting the political and topical rhetoric. I have been given a task and it is a worthy task, why would I try to take on the task others are already doing and doing it well.
If I succeed, my thesis could shape generations of thinkers and if I fail it will be left for someone else to shoulder, who should‘ve been doing other things. The results are not my concern though, I am just concerned with completing the task. Like Frodo and the ring, my path may look different in this current climate but it is no less treacherous or dangerous, or important to the cause of humanity (this sounds more narcissistic that I mean it to be, as raising children with values is equally important to the cause of humanity as my task). We all have our parts to play. So to diffuse the temptation to engage with Politics, here’s my answer going forward on all political scandals and events: If anyone’s intentions (from any worldview or political leaning) and actions violated the Jesus’s commandments to Love God and Love People, then their intentions were/are wrong. However, there is forgiveness and grace for everyone who asks, so no one is ultimately scum or unreconcilable refuse: every human has immense value. This is my statement for all new forthcoming outrage.
Also, I will be joining Nina in her 30 days of Happy. I wanna be happy, I wanna belly laugh, I wanna spread so much joy around that it is contagious and infectious..so much so they call the CDC on me. I want our house to be a house of Love and Laughter; they will be my bosom companions for the next month.
Come on and join in. We can all be like Tina Turner, she was about lose control…and she like it.
-JW Mullins
